Friday, August 7, 2020

Toilet Paper

 The new interface of this "Blog" company that I use has something which I like - It gives a count of how many people have read the blog   (I like to type blug or bluggy instead of blog.)  One of my past blogs had over 300 readers.  Really?   300 readers.  I think that is interesting. - to me anyway.  If you think it to be not interesting, then read this paragraph backwards, and it will all go away from your brain.  Continue to paragraph 2.

My title for this blug is Toilet Paper.  It seems that enough is never written about toilet paper.  There are people who spend their entire lifetimes dealing with toilet paper...commercially not personally at home.  

Visualize in a barroom setting:  "Hi, my name is Bert.  I make toilet paper.  What do you do?"  The actual dates escape me - I have forgotten the dates - look it up yourself - but paper toilet paper was only created in the 1857 (I believe).  And it was about 50 years before you didn't get splinters when you ... well, when you .... nah.  I can't think of a polite way to explain what you do with toilet paper other than wipe off lipstick. (That came off slightly wrong.)   Splinters!   Splinters!

Remember the old saying everyone use to write in their high school year books?   "As you slide down the banister of life, let this be a splinter in your career."  There were probably variations.

People used corn cobs, pages from catalogs, leaves, a hand - whatever was available at the time.  What got me started on this subject is all the panic that happened during our virus panic.  Naturally, people were worried about getting sick so they hurried to the store and bought all the toilet paper on the shelves.  Some families carried home 3 & 4 cases of the stuff.  Better to be safe than sorry.  As luck had it, my son Roger and Penney's children - sometimes referred to as my grand-girls - their high school band sold cases of toilet paper last fall.  I received our case sometime in late November.  It was stacked in the garage for later use.  I was set for the big virus wipeout ... so to speak.

I do not have ' permission to republish these  Go see if you like their website.

We have two bathrooms.  Only 2 of us here.  The master bath {really somewhat of a joke to call it a "master" bath - it functions - no luxury here folks} the master bath has a nice water closet with the appropriate fixture.  One roll of toilet paper hangs near your right elbow.  Four more can be found on the floor in this great little metal device created for holding toilet paper.  "Hi, my name is Bert.  I make toilet paper holders that sit on the floor behind your commode.  What do you do?" 

Okay, I don't know what brand the toilet paper is - but it is a big hunking roll of paper.   Big and wide.  I started watching back in March; you might call it a survey.  I was concerned we'd be in a T.P. panic soon.  The roll was installed on a Friday.  It lasted from Friday - through the next Friday - and ran out on Tues.  A week and a half. Actually depending  upon how you count days, one roll lasted 11 or 12 days.

That was Friday through Friday into a Tuesday - change the roll.  Then, it was Tuesday through Tuesday into the next Friday.  The same sequence happened from March until a week ago.  All of a sudden it is Saturday through Saturday into the next Wednesday.   And Wednesday through Wednesday into Saturday.

This is science folks.  We need more science and less frills in this world.   I anticipate the rolls may eventually evolve into a Sunday till Thursday sequence - assuming we can still find those big ole hunkin' rolls of toilet paper at our H.E.B.

And you thought you had a boring life.  Retirement has its flaws.    

Stay tuned; in a future blog I aim to discuss ear wax.


as an added bit here:  My granddaughter Megan started a blog - she has posted a few times.  I believe she was pushed into writing the blog during a class she was taking at Tech.  Her blog seems so innocent and nice and upbeat compared to my cynical attitudes.   I hope she doesn't mind - here is the link to her blog:   (If she minds, the magic delete will happen.)


With that we close.   I am reading a book I bought at Gettysburg about 20 years ago: 

Best Little Stories from the Civil War   by C. Brian Kelly and Ingrid Smyer (his wife)  Lots of really short stories about the war and the people who were there.   A fun read.

luv, M

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