I was doing just fine until she handed it to me ...
(Flashback)
This past Friday was my last Radiation visit. Radiation deserves to be capitalized here. I don't know how Radiation works or in my case at this time - if it does works. Friday was my 42nd trip to Baylor Scott & White Oncology Radiation - desk XT - Nine weeks it has been.
Here is how it works. You find a place to park out back and waddle up to the building. The glass doors slide open admitting you to a foyer with appropriate masks. Put on the mask (sigh). Walk through another sliding glass door and turn right. A very nice lady - receptionist if you will - greets you with an appropriate greeting. She asks if you have any new covid symptoms. I try to beat her to the question explaining that I have no new diseases at this time. For some reason that seems to bring a chuckle. There are two ladies at this "kiosk" - you get one or the other. Both are sweeter than pecan pie.
[ Side Bar: Leaving Thursday, I stopped at this desk to ask a question. I notice our young lady had a painted rock on her desk area. I started to point at it and comment - I like painted rocks - and my hand grazed her pictures lined up beside the pretty rock. I set off a clatter of disorder. Things calmed, and I told her that I liked her rock. For such a simple mission, I caused such a loud commotion. ]
Once checked in, you sit and wait. The room has various folks - sitting - waiting - nobody really talks. Some I recognize from previous visits; but, there are always new people waiting. If a nurse comes out and calls a name, that person arises and follows. If the person is accompanied by 2 or more others, it must be their first time to see the doctor. Everyone wants to hear what the doctor has to say. I know when I first arrived months ago, my family went to the back room with me and met the doc. I'm guessing it is a tradition for scared people and their scared families.
In my case, I await the "Rad Tech" to come for me. "Mr. Metze," is called; I walk through the door; pleasant greetings and small talks are exchanged as we walk down the long hallway; my birth date is requested and checked on the computer --- "11 - 4 - 40," I respond. Into the ambient lit room I go - my small backpack is deposited on an awaiting chair - and, I climb upon my metal table which has been covered with a white cloth.
A block is placed between my feet as they are tied down. A longer block of wood is slid under my knees. A small wood block awaits my head - yes, a head rest for a block head if you will. Next, a small white cloth is placed over my stomach - I affectionately calls this my "modesty blanket." I slide my hands under the cloth and lower my shorts. This exposes me to the machine. Finally, a small 6 inch round hoop is given to me to hold. It helps me keep my hands planted on the chest, out of the way.
The young ladies {RadTechs} adjust the machine and the table before leaving out a door which is slid shut. The rest is just staying still as the big ole white machine rotates over me. The machine first checks to see if I have gas in the intestines - if so, back the young ladies come and a tube is used to remove the gas - not my favorite thing. This happened 3 times in my 42 days of zapping.
Obviously, when completed, the process is done in reverse. The young lady walks in and says, "All through." Never fails. I dress; speak a departing salutation; and, yes, all through. Tomorrow comes - same thing.
**On Thursdays, as I leave, the doctor and I discuss how it is going. It is always going okay.
**On Mondays, before I leave the girls remark my tattoos with a big pen. Tattoos are explained in a previous message.
But, on this last day, Friday, after I was zapped; I met with the doctor's great nurse who explains what happens next. She & I walked out to the lobby to be greeted by my wife - my daughter Laura & her husband Tom - and a small collection of other nurses and staff who have followed to watch me ...
RING THE BELL !!!
A large bell hangs on the wall. The message says something about ringing the bell 3 times to signify one has completed his treatment. With Laura's camera whirling and to the applause of the gathering, I RANG THE BELL. Doing what I do, I bowed. I explained to them that is had been merely an endurance test. All was going well.
We started to leave. I stopped by the receptionist desk and pointed at the rock on her desk. I wanted Laura to see it. The young lady smiled - picked up the rock and said she wanted me to have it.
I don't know why, but this got to me. I could feel the emotion rising up in me: Attacking me. I feel the same thing right now as I type. I couldn't talk other than to mumble something like "no, it's yours." She insisted and I waved my crowd out the door. I couldn't even reply "Thank you." I made it through nine long weeks of zapping and being uncomfortable. And a stupid little rock broke me down. Who'd a thunk?
So, I close. Our plan is to wait 3 months. I take a blood test. Then, we will know what is needed next. I do try to be optimistic and tough about all of this. You can see that toughness in the others who share my waiting room - waiting. They do what they have to do and smile.
But, a little painted Rock took me down.
mtz