Friday, September 23, 2011

Frozen Face

Last July - t'was about the last week or so, this thing came up on my right jaw.  It was just back far enough that I couldn't see it without a mirror and, just so you'll know,  I was never too good looking at anything with a mirror.  

My first thought was:  ingrown whisker - or pimple  (I am still a teenager at heart).  When I touched same mass, it hurt.  I left it alone as my mother taught me.   "Don't touch that pimple or it will turn into a wart.  DO YOU WANT A WART?"   Leave em alone - they will heal on their own.   Wrong.

I left it alone.  August started and so did Grammy Camp.  It was two weeks long and so was my growth.  On the 4th week, I decided -- call a dermotologist, darnatogolist, droop-a-mologist - I never could keep those straight.   I called.  Nurse answered.  I explained that I wanted an appointment with Dr. Bilitz.   She started talking up the Physician Asst.  PA....BOTH FEMALE.   I said, "No, I don't want some female poking around on me, I will wait for the Doctor."  Now I know that is a bit wrong, but I am 70 yrs old and I don't want some female poking around on me.  I have enough problems.

Keep in mind - this is 3rd week of August.   I went in for my appt on Tuesday.   His waiting list is that long.

The nurse ushered me into a small examining room,  chair, table, stool, recliner - and hung brilliantly on the wall,  a Whitish flag with a big double T in the middle....signed by Leach and that basketball guy we all loved to love and hate.  Two other signatures adorned the flag in two other corners - couldn't make them out.  I was in the presence of a Tech grad.  All must be okay.

Nurse left.  In walked this late 20 to early 30 tall young lady.   She introduced herself as an intern from Baylor.  A FEMALE !!!!  She said, "If you will POP off your shirt and sit up here."   pop off my shirt.  This female is going to go poking around my body - that concept to most of you readers should be repulsive in itself - not the poking around, but me without a shirt.   Ask my wife.  No, don't ask my wife.

I said as I popped of my shirt,  "Pop off your shirt.  You must not have been raised in Texas."   I was right.  She is over here from Ireland.  Of course I was able to talk about my Irish heritage - the Tule family.   She found the spelling to be interesting, or she was just being nice.   Much poking went on.  Eventually, I was able to replace my pop-off.   Dr. Bilitz stolled in.   I complimented him on the Tech flag - we were instant friends. 

The doc poked around.  They agreed;  I had 3 things on my face that needed to go away.  The jaw thing had gone done somewhat - so it was suspect too.  Doc left.  Irish Doc got out the freezer gun.   She said, "close your eyes."   Whoosh.  I can tell you, that hurts.  I asked if I could scream.  She said that some do.   I didn't.  I have had one pain that was more than this, but don't let anyone tell you this is fun.  It is not.

(side bar:  my retina detached  two different times and I was hit by a laser  twice, one month or so apart.  This is a pain that I cannot describe.  You don't want it unless the doctor provides a bullet to put between your teeth.)

Zapping over.  Irish chick doc split.   I split.  Set up a follow-up appt for exactly one year from now.  They seem concerned don't they?   One year before a follow up.    My 3 bits of pain dimished over time.  Still it all hurts and scabs are starting to form.  I want to return to normal.

With that, I close.
Zappingly yours,
p.s.  hummingbirds outside my window are having a great time right now  AND   it is precisely 5 p.m.  My dog Fritz is starting to pace the floor for his supper.

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