Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A pondering on dressing for success or ....

Yesterday morning I mowed most of the yard with my hand mower.  About 7 I dug out the riding mower and completed the mowing under my headlights.  This morning, the weed eater - THE TERMINATOR - was put to use on most of the yard.  The remainder remains till the morrow.
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It took a bit of time to cool down - plus the wife had to wash 3 of the pups in anticipation of a trip to the Vet.  I sat at the table penciling my answers to a Sudoku and my glasses kept fogging over.  Wipe them off - find another numerical answer - fogged up again.  It was good I postponed the rest of the yard till tomorrow.
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As BJ began the bathing ceremony for Liesl, I decided it was time for me to hit the shower and my own bathing ceremony.  You can't go to the Vet smelling like a cesspool...or maybe you can.  Vets do have an interesting clientele (French spelling).

First thing is a trip to the chest of drawers for my socks and unmentionables.   [ An aside:  are they called "chest of drawers" because they have movable drawers - or because you keep your drawers in them??   'tis a ponder.  ] As I removed my items for day's wearing, our Norad - Nomad - Nored - Doo dah - whatever it is called, the little radio that warns of impending weather doom from the Natl Weather Bureau ... Our little radio in the bedroom fires up and announces we will be under a tornado watch till 7 p.m.  TV suddenly does a weather report of nasty storms west of Dallas moving our way.  What are you gonna do?
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As I reached my paw into my Drawer of Drawers, I had this thought about unmentionables.  When you get dressed in the morning, how much attention do you give to these things?  I know that females will often color coordinate their products for the day's activity.  But, we guys sorta just grab and go.  You peel off the old pair and step into a clean pair for the day.  Not a big thinking process for men folks.
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So a hypothetical question.  Suppose one morning you reach into the Drawer of Drawers and pull out a delightful pair of undies - y'know - that Superman Pair some well-meaning relative soul gave you for your 65th birthday as an untimely joke.  After hiding them for a few years, you have made the decision to wear them on days spent working in the yard, certainly not for going to town.  After going through the cleansing process, you slip into these red-white-blue things with the big S imprinted boldly.  Whammo, your house gets run down by a tornado [or a drunk driving a propane truck ] off you are to the local big hospital, ambulance - siren and all.
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An emergency staff starts cutting off your clothes to patch you up and repair your broken bones AND THERE THEY ARE - the big S boldly glowing forth for all to see.  Now, I ask you, is this what you really want to happen?  I think not.  I know not.  Hardly, for sure.  Better those had been left in the drawer and scattered all over your yard for the entire nation to view - not enclosed under your jeans.  Think about that clearly now.   And you females should think about it too as you grab your purple thongs.
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LECTURE SUMMARY:    One should not only dress for the day, but one should dress for any potential situation.  And with that I shall close - noting here, that NOBODY has ever given me a pair of Superman Briefs or Boxers.   I don't have any.   I don't want any.   I have never worn any.  I won't wear them if you give them to me.  I won't even store them in my Drawer of Drawers.  Save your money.  Instead, buy me a BMW.
Thank you and a good morning.
Keep your head down north Texas.
mtz #3  

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. Rethought my response to an earlier comment from someone - nothing personal johnny (or to me either - for that matter) just trying to keep this blog a family type thing which I feel comfortable letting my granddaughters read. They would probably make fun of me for my old man attitudes.

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  4. um when you mention a thong, that is inappropriate for your granddaughters and daughter to read. just saying

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