Wednesday, February 21, 2024

left side vs. right side vs. spectracide

                      So, which are you?  You should know y'know.

First of all, spectracide has nothing to do with this.  I used the word because it rhymes & is spelled differently than the other two.  The first word I thought of was suicide.  That rhymes too.  People get really worked up when suicide is mention however in passing.  That was cute.  Passing / suicide.  Wish I had planned the connection ahead of time.  Anyhoo, I abhor suicide.  I don't understand how someone could get so messed up they think this is a solution.  Yeah. Yeah.  It is a solution sorta.  But, it is not a good solution.  The suicide person is not the victim.  Those left behind are the ones who suffer.  I'd think that was a tad bit selfish.  Maybe I don't understand it all completely.

Moving on.  Spectracide is a weed poison.  Use it at your own will.


When I was much younger, I went to bed at night by lying on my stomach with my head facing to the right, right arm bent in front of the nose.  I did that for years.  Of course things changed some when I married.  That has a tendency to alter past habits to some degree.  

Aside:   When I went to college, Tech, I had to live in the dorm my Freshman year.  Brother Jim was my roommate.  We could function together.  Jim's previous roomie was Gerald Heath, a hometown Levelland boy who was a pretty good friend throughout high school.  Gerald's father was our barber. . . a real cut-up.   (wish I hadn't said that)  Before the year was out, Jim and Gerald were growing apart.  Gerald loved Jonie James, a female singer in the 50s.  He played her records often.  Personally, I can't stand the way she sings - all that scooping and namby pamby voice.  Apparently, Jim couldn't either.  He took one of her records and rolled it down the dorm hallway with satisfying results - for him, not Gerald.

Soph. year, we found a garage apartment just a block south of the campus.  In the beginning it was roach infested.  Several efforts were made to correct the problem.  Jim & I had twin beds stuffed in a tiny bedroom.  They were probably 12 to 15 inches apart. As a joke one night, as I climbed into bed, I used my hand to beat on the bed  "to kill any bugs in the bed."  We thought it was funny at the time.  I did it again the 2nd night.  Not as funny.  By the 10th night, Jim was getting upset.  It became a habit that year.  I couldn't go to sleep unless I patted the bed - even so slightly and quietly.  Jim had certain names for me...won't list here.


Time went by.  I evolved into a left side sleeper on the left side of the bed.  it seemed that was the most comfy position.  Streisand has a song about rolling over and going to sleep.  I suppose this was me.  Then, about 4 - 5 years ago, I was dreaming that a ball was rolling past me.  I grabbed for the ball and rolled out of bed.  I cut my left ear pretty good on the bedside table.  Wrote about this in a previous episode.  This bothered me a bunch.

Now, right now, we moved to Salado.  We have always had a double bed.  There is a certain closeness that comes with a double vs. the queen and king.  We seemed to like it.  Then, my wife's illness came up.  I figured I needed a bed where the individual sides would raise and lower.  I could see her spending extra time in bed.  It hasn't happened yet.  There is so much extra room in that bed.  Equivalent to two twin size beds, there is room to toss and turn without bothering anyone.

What has happened is that I have turned into a right side sleeper.  I can face to the inside of the bed and not be breathing on my wife.  There is so much room.  Turns out the raising and lowering has no effect - or is that affect?  It is both.

So which are you?  left side sleeper?  right side sleeper?  back sleeper?  stomach?   I ALWAYS wake up on my back.  It doesn't matter the starting position, the back wins at night.  In 63 years of marriage, I've always slept on the left side of the bed.  Is that normal for people?  Even on the honeymoon, I can remember sleeping on the left side because it was closest to the door - being closer to the door was me protecting my bride - I was so naive.

---- smiley face ----

I was once told (gossip) about a man who would get naked, wrap himself up completely in a sheet like a mummy or cocoon, lay down on the foot of the bed crosswise in order to sleep.  Wonder where his wife slept.  Maybe she was really short.  Sometimes when I think my sleeping habits are strange, I think of this guy.  He needs help.


Here is the real question:  Now that you have read this, are you glad you read to the end?  I appreciate your effort.  Next week we take up the riveting issue, how to sit in a recliner vs. high back wooden chairs.

Little next aside.  Son Roger just sent a text that his PSA is <.01.  Considering the prostrate problems we have all had, this is great news.  Didja ever notice, men never talk about the prostrate in public?  Why is that?  I guess we are too tough to whine.



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