Friday, March 17, 2023

Hot Stuff

 Friday - March 17th - St. Patrick's Day,  2023

What you just read has nothing to do with this entry.  However, it is safe to note that the above is accurate.  Not everything you read is true y'know.  I was shown something on Facebook a while go, it wasn't true.  Thus, we should make some type of an assumption.



that a bottle of Frank's { Extra Hot } REDHOT Sauce will bounce off a concrete floor.  It will.` Yes, it will bounce one time if it hits flat on its side.  If you are quick enough, you might catch that bouncing bottle on that first bounce.   If you're not?  It will break on the 2nd bounce.  To be honest here [like I am never honest here??] - the bottle doesn't bounce very high - maybe 4 to 6 inches.  But, bounce it will.   Wait - but not twice...

Told you this is hot stuff.

The first sentence should have read Frank's Redhot, Extra Hot, Hot Sauce.  That is a lot of hots in one sentence.  Hot Stuff.  As Advertised.

Personally, I have always been a Tabasco Man.  Tabasco goes on most stuff.  I became somewhat addicted to Tabasco back in the 70s when my family was running Ragtime in Amarillo (this adventure shall be saved for a different bloggy).  At that time I ate what we had on the menu - lunch & dinner.  I became particularly fond of Tabasco on tater tots.  Don't knock it till you've tried it.  There have been bottles of hot sauce in my house constantly since childhood.  Tabasco has even traveled with me over the years.  I do like it.

Last week, reading my morning paper as I do religiously on a regular basis frequently in the morning oft times, I read an article about a Chinese guy who came to the USA via Hong Kong several years back.  He carried $20,000 in gold hidden in condensed milk cans.  Now, don't go asking me questions about how he did this.  

I cannot imagine: open a can - insert gold - tape the lid back on with duck tape ??  You figure it out.  I shan't recite the entire article right now - you can look it up somewhere. This Chinese brilliant man came to the USA.  He moved to N.Y.  Then, he moved to Calif.

In California he took some gold and bought a big building.  He started making his Sriracha Hot Sauce.  It took a while, but the sauce caught on.  Now it is the 3rd best selling sauce in the U.S.      -- 2nd best is Frank's.  Of course, Tabasco is #1.   The guy, whose name escapes me, became a billionaire with his sauce.  Good for Him.  Maybe Huy Fong ??

It made me thunk....think.   I need to try these sauces again.  Might be good.

jump forward

Went to an HEB grocery store in Round Rock Wednesday to pick up a few things.  I saw Frank's on a shelf.  I reached over an removed a jar.  But, it said  EXTRA HOT.  Nah, for my first time in a long time, I should take home the milder.  I put the jar back and - yep - brushed another one with my arm.  It flew off the shelf like it had a mission to complete.

Straight for the floor it fell, landing on it's side.   I grabbed for it.  I had time to see it bounce and sink back down.  Wham.  Hot sauce went everywhere.  My hand was just a foot off the floor.  Too Late.  I froze.  Who saw me?  Panic and Run?  What to do?

Behind me a 30-40 year old dark haired lady yelled (almost yelled) at me to not touch a thing.  She would go get help.  I had no intention of touching anything.  It was a broken jar surrounded by smelly red hot sauce.  Taking out my handkerchief, I blotted the hot sauce from my paws.  I stood and cautioned people to be careful.  The really nice lady returned with a worker.  I smiled weakly - apologized as best I could - thanked all for helping - grabbed another bottle of hot sauce - and walked fast.  

Let me pause the narration here.  I am old.  She was middle age.  Did she respond to me so quickly because I look old and feeble?  Was she afraid this really old guy might try to clean up the mess?  Or - and I hope this is it - or, was she just a nice lady who would have reacted the same way to a much younger, less feeble looking person?  Getting old is not always easy.  Being young wasn't much easier at times.  We all do stupid things.

That's it.  I ended up with an EXTRA HOT bottle of the sauce, which has turned out to be somewhat mild.  Hours later at home I discovered that my left shoe was covered in dry hot sauce.  I had spent the rest of that day showing my hot sauce adventure to the remainder of the world, ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Never Noticed. Not Once.  If it had been a snake, it would have bitten me.

Ethically, should I send HEB a check for the broken hot sauce?  I do feel guilty.

or not.


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