Better stand back - I am loose on the world.
We all know that if you read something - anything - on the internet, it must be true. Nobody ever posts anything that is not factual. There is a close correlation to reading the horoscopes in a local newspaper. Horoscopes focus completely on me - just me.
Horoscopes are composed by individuals who have an insight. They must have. Why would the paper publish an article that was not factual (think fake news)? Another Factual (making the word factual into a noun) are those little bits of paper you get at Chinese restaurants - yes, fortune cookies. I've never read one ( or won, if you prefer ) that wasn't true.
[I would have used the word inciteful here - but my computer says my spelling is wrong. No alternate spelling is provided to me. Let's try: incitefull nope, doesn't work either. insightfull incitful ensitefull Nope. Give it up.]
Back to the horoscopes: Mine today, Scorpio, reads,
"Your water-sign nature is supercharged today and will bring a wave of fun, a spritz of playfulness and a splash of drama to your day. Who do you most want to influence? Focus there because your charisma is on 10."
This brings up a few questions. (1.) what is a water-sign nature? That's new to me. It seems to provide a fluid way of describing the future day. (2.) "wave of fun" How true. If there were ever a way to describe me - it would be "wave of fun." (3.) "spritz of playfulness" Surely they jest. (4.) Drama? I have spent most of my life trying to dodge drama. If you have ever taught middle school or high school girls, you know drama. (4.) Finally: me want to influence someone? I've had a long hard thought about this. Influence. the President? The V.P.? My banker? The food industry who has found a way to double the cost of everything. The boss of Coca-Cola should be horse whipped for doubling the cost of cokes in 12 months. I could list other foods ... so could you. I'll probably be arrested for making a terrorist threat against the CEO of Coke.
Maybe my efforts should go towards influencing that frog who lives near my back porch. It loves to lounge in the dog's water dish at night. The dogs don't seem to care. We call it frog water. Might be tasty. Who knows? Good Frog.
Lastly, and more important----ly, Charisma. That is me. Mr. Charisma. Wherever I go, I light up the room with my charisma. Yep, bubbling personality. There is a word you don't write often. bubbling. Charisma - Mr. Charisma - gads, did this horoscope peg me right on the button? Of course they did. I'm going out in the front yard right now and wave at everybody that comes by. I may pull a few over and ask how their day is going - how's your mom - read any good books - where did you buy those good looking shoes - because I am so interested in others.
Mr. Charisma - shine on!