Old Dad Joke OR Dad's old joke

 Never play pickleball with a cymbal.

It makes a terrible racket.

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speaking of pickleball - I heard that a ritzy California community has banned pickleball in their town.

Go figure.

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Rained yesterday and this morning.     .41" yesterday    .82" today  =  1.23" total.   Predicted total was between 3 & 5 inches.  I'll believe it when I see it.  More rain coming about Monday.  We'll see.

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In the very near future I will be having a colonoscopy.  Yep, one of them.   I have a full day of "prep" to take my mind off the fact that I am not eating all day.  I can definitely say, "I hope everything comes out all right."

I had a bout with colitis about 2 months ago.  Two different doctors at 2 different times told me to do it.  At 85 yrs old, you don't get that often.  Usually, they say forget it - if you have cancer you'll die of old age before the cancer will get you.  I don't believe in that latter philosophy.  I believe in the old adage (I just made up):   The longer you are alive, the more you live.   

Their philosophy is so comforting.  

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We should be seeing some family this Thanksgiving.  That'll be nice.  I watched an episode of Texas Country Reporter last night.  They had a bit about a guy in Grand Prairie - think named Zavalla - ?? - who has BBQ place - has cancer in remission - uses his place to make money and give it to cancer research.  I was impressed with his attitude.  He said it was just a matter of time before the cancer comes back - "and it will come back."   I don't know if I could handle it that well.  Impressive young man.

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For laughs I just clicked on the button that highlights certain words or phrases.  Click on the highlight and google will tell ya all about it.   I'm through.  I am  Cooking a whole chicken in my crock pot today.  Am anxious to see how it comes out.  No, I'm sorry, you are not invited to share.  Maybe next time.  Later, 

mtz

and P.S;  I am not going to click on any of these either.

HAP HAP HAPPY

Yesterday, November 4th, that was my 85th birthday.  Eighty Five sometimes long, sometimes short years.  I have memories from childhood and adulthood and, yes, seniorhood.  As a  bit of whatever,  I was born in the A.M. on 11-4-1940.  This was the day that Franklin D Roosevelt was elected to his 3rd term.  For many it was a special day.  I was born at home.  My 16 month old brother Jim was in  his baby bed next to the delivery bed watching the process.  He says that he doesn't remember.  My mom was the high school band director in Tecumseh, Oklahoma at that time.  I cannot remember a thing about that day.  I do attribute the event to my fear of drowning - you know.

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BITHDAY IS HERE!!!

Yesterday, I was up at the crack of doom (my daughter's expression) and had my blood drawn at the local clinic.  The Prostrate cancer thing still lingers over my head.  Apparently, I'm hanging in there as the PSA result was <0.01 -they tell me this is good.  My testosterone seems to be low.  What a surprise at 85.  I've been told you have to have testosterone for the prostrate to act up.  I don't know.  I wasn't trained in medicine - I went to a music school.

The med tech blood young lady (most ladies are young to me) poked my left arm as an orange cladded younger intern type watched on in awe - awe - not at me for not screaming out as I was poked  - but for the Girl Poker...cute word.

Left = came home  = picked up the wife and daughter and made a visit to a dentist in downtown Salado.  This was our first visit to same.  They gave us a ream full of papers to read and sign.  Why they need to know if I've ever had ingrown toe nails is beyond me.  The wife seems to always have a good time at any dentist. 

I went in fear.  My two front teeth have chips out - plus, I've been experiencing some mouth pain lately.  I am scared of dentist.  I went thinking that I need to replace all my front teeth with something else.  Now, a confession:  it has been 3 1/2 years since I've seen a dentist.  Some think that is a long time.  To me it is like getting a parole from jail.  

Fancy Dancy.  this dental office (Salado Dentist office) has every bell and whistle one might imagine.  The X-rays showed up on a big screen as "she" took the photos.  Amazing stuff.   Long story short:  (too late) we both passed with flying colors.  Amazing stuff.  I was less stressed in this environment than ever before.  I will be going back; but, I don't expect a clean bill every time I go.  Scared to death I am.  

Aside: because I talked to them about my front teeth worries, I learned that my dentist played clarinet in school.  My hygienist played played flute and it seems most of her family are musicians of one sort or another.   Give me another "Amazing."  

We left and stopped at Schlottsky's  for a sandwich.  (never could spell that word)  I love their original sandwiches plus the hot sauce.  A short trip to HEB AND  we were home.  Now, is that NOT your idea of a great birthday adventure?  Loved every minute.

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I really like - but don't like - Facebook.  I went on yesterday and typed a short bit about turning 85.  The birthdate is not in my profile.  Getting people to tell me Happy Birthday  is not what I live for.  I felt Number 85 should be announced somewhere.  Maybe it will show someone else they still have a future.  Nearly 60 people responded nicely to me.  No hateful prods.

THE DAY AFTER....

I feel no different.  Went to bed last night about midnight as usual.   Something happened and I slept till 11:30 a.m.  I'm retired.  I can sleep as much as I wish.  I was up at 2:15, 4:25, 6:58, and, then, 11:30.  I get my exercise at night.

see ya - @ #85 ---- or as one of my favorite people use to say: "cool beans."

mtz  

p.s. my blog program want to add a feature which connects google to my glob.  The highlighted words are their doing, no mine. 

Time for another Pot Pouring (Potpourri)

 Coming to the end of October.  Temperatures have started down.  I've been able to go outside and do some stuff without sweating to death.  Of course, today we have 85% humidity.  What do they say?  It's not the heat, it's the humidity.  How true.

1.)  I bought my wife some gum yesterday at the store.  It's been a while.  She loves gum.  Use to be it was only Double Bubble.  Now it seems to be Extra Spearmint.  She loves gum.  I don't.  I don't like to chew it; I don't like to watch others chew.  My nickname is not Chewy.  

2.)  Now I use to chew gum.  Thought I was cool chewing with my lips apart just a bit.  Tried not to make smacking noises - just look cool.  Over time I evolved into Dentine gum:  tastes good, small pieces.  About 1974 or 75 I was chomping away and bit the inside of my gums just one too many times.  That was it.  I put the gum away and haven't chewed since.  Wish I could remember the exact day and time.  I know all of my readers would relish that bit of info.

3.)  Couple days ago, I was opening the front door to start the day.  Often, we'll leave it open with a dog cushion close so the dogs can watch the traffic - and bark - and be fussed at for barking.  Sadie was resting on her couch excited with the prospect of looking out.  Something fell off the cushion onto the middle of the hallway.   It was a dead rat!  Sadie had been out in the back yard after the big rain - she was soaked - and killed another rat.  Bless her heart.  She had to carry it into the house and gently place it on the cushion.   She didn't argue MUCH when I picked it up by the tail and relocated same in a trash bag.   No blood.  Just a dead rat.

4.)  Why yes, it did rain.  1:24" on Friday  and 1.15 on Saturday.  We've not seen rain in over a month.

5.) I've been spending the last couple of days placing blow-up Halloween things in the front yard.  It tires me out.  The bending and so forth - hard on an old man.  We've got to get ready for Friday night.  I think we have as much as 10 sacks of candy ready.  Never before have I lived in a neighborhood with so many trick or treaters.  Steady stream.  Last year the first show up at 6:15.  We were back inside by 8:30 or so. 8 bags of candy last year.  My daughter doesn't have a brain.  She let some grab a handful - and others she overloaded the child.  I tried to tell her this was not out job - to feed the world.  She doesn't believe.

6.) Had a flashback today.  Watching TV when an adv. came on with little girl jumping rope.  I remarked that I never could jump rope.  That's not entirely true.  If I had the rope in my hand, I'd be okay.  But, get between 2 people twirling it blindly.  Not a prayer.  Jump 2 ropes at the same time?? Ya gotta be kidding.  Not a prayer.

So right now I am gonna admit something else.  I surely hope it doesn't destroy anyone's vision of me as a child.  I could not jump rope.   Playing Jacks was out of the question.  The boys shot marbles.  I'd do that  until they started playing "keepers."  Too cheap, that's me.  Keep my marbles for myself.  Hop scotch was a bit too much as were the monkey bars.  Who can swing around on those things?  Not to mention hanging upside down by your legs.  No way!   Had a PE class where they made us do somersaults and the like.  Somersaults scare me to death.  Cheerleaders do all those twirling around things.  Not for me.  I had a trumpet.  I could do musical gymnastics.  Luckily none of my PE classes had a rope hanging from the the ceiling to climb.  I would have failed PE.

I remember PE in the 7th grade - Levelland jhs...required attendance.  The coach handed out basketballs. We went out back on a paved area with a goal and played horse - daily.  When we weren't playing, we'd sit in the shade and repeat dirty jokes - or at least we thought they were dirty.   Yes, I'd always lose at Horse.  As winter approached - as it does in the Panhandle - we stayed inside.  The coaches thought dodge ball was the game of the future - and they tried to teach rassilin' - not wrestling as is done many places.  There were no rules.  Grab and roll around the floor.  No structure - no results - just killing time.  I wonder why I hated PE?

Didja know that when you play basketball - and you have the ball - that the other team tries to jerk it out of your hand and knock you down?  I learned that in 7th grade.  Whar's my horn?

7.) I'll end with this.  The on-off button on my computer is broken.  Oh, it still works.  But it has fallen down inside the computer.  I have to use a long blade to reach down in computer and turn the machine on.  It's A Miracle.    More later.  I try to write more later.  Things get in the way.  Right now, it is 5 o'clock.  It is dog feeding time.  If you think for one moment that I can put that off, you're wrong.  No proof reading of this missive.  Correct the misprints for yourself.

MMtz

 

OCT. 7TH

 So, I'm practically 85 yrs old.  That makes me born in 1940 before the big war #2.   My parents were born in 1910 - both.  Mom near Kaw City, Oklahoma (now under the Kaw lake) and my father in Temple, Okla.  I suppose both had good young lives.  They never said.  I never asked.  After they were gone, I inherited a big box which included stuff from their senior years in high school - that would have been 1928.   

Apparently, in them thar days, seniors created a scrapbook of their senior year - these were pre-printed scrapbooks to be completed.  Not surprising, my mother did hers beautifully.  What is surprising is that my father completed his too.  I enjoyed reading through them and would never discard.  That makes them nearly 100 years old.  I fear that none of my children, much less my grandchildren,  will be interested in them; and, eventually, they will be discarded in the trash.  A shame really....

My mom's father was the local barber.  How good?  Back in those days, I think they used a bowl to trim hair.  Shaving was extra.  Who knows if he dealt in leaches.  He had an old, used barber chair in his backyard that we could play on.  You could get real dizzy twirling around and around (with help) on the chair.  It's a wonder we never were maimed.   

My father's father worked for the city of Temple, Oklahoma.  I understand he invented something that went into their water system that made everything better.  Water system in the early 1900s - that's a think-it-through.  Anyway, as a reward he received free water for the rest of his life - which was fairly long.  They lived out in the country most of the time by the creek which fed water into Temple.  He ran the equipment.   [I use to think this was spelled  "equiptment" until a fellow teacher in Sudan, TX corrected me one time - forever greatful / grateful / grrrreeeatfully   I  wuz/am. ]

I might mention that my grandfather had a taste for the beer.  He made his own forever and drank it with gusto.  Yes, that would have taken him through the prohibition era.  I have no real proof that he ever sold it...rumors abound.   At least 2 of my uncles on that side enjoyed way too much alcohol.  Always figured it was an inherited trait.  My own father never touched the stuff.  I find that interesting.  Even when my mom would bring some into the house - or - we were visiting other relatives, he never messed with it.  I saw too many drunks in my day. I was always afraid to even taste the booze.  You never crave what you never have had.

More on this subject later.  Today is my father's birthday.  He would have been 115 years old - I think.  He was known to my grandchildren as  Mr. Grandpop.  We were trying to decide on a grandfatherly name back in 1962; &, he proclaimed,  "Mr."  So it was with all of his future grands.  

I ended up being a  "Papa."  The Mister never seemed to work for me.

and to conclude this one-sided conversation conclusively  -- 

Today I ordered my 2026 calendars from Calendars.com.  They have a 30% discount today with the Code  THISISBIG.  I do like to order the calendars early; then, it is over.  Ready for next year.  Not that you asked:   I get a dachshund engagement calendar for the kitchen cabinet - really helps me remember not to forget what I seem to not be able to remember.  Then I get one of those daily, tear-off dachshund calendars.  365 different doxies to smile at.  We use to get an Owl calendar for my wife.  But, things are different now, and owls have slipped back into silence.   I have added a Basset wall calendar for my live-in daughter.  I believe it makes things a bit better around here.   30% off - not a bad deal.

Love ya, later

m

Really?

 Here's one for you.  

One of my daughters lives in Waxahachie.  She walked out to her mailbox yesterday evening.  On the way back she saw saw something on her porch.  hmmmmm

It was a cell phone plugged into her porch plug place.  She called the police.  They came over and took the phone.  Within 5 minutes after the police left, some man was banging on their front door yelling that he wanted his cell phone back.   She re-called the police.

The man was soon found.  He is listed by the police as "homeless."   They had a long talk.  He has been living across the road and down a ways in the trees.  They gave him back his phone and pointed him away.

That's something.

Daughter now has bought a ring camera and installed it.  The story could be told in three times more words.  I abbreviated.  That is something to me.  I wonder who pays his phone bill;  I wonder how he gets his phone bill; I wonder where he gets the money to pay the phone bill; I wonder if his name is Bill.

mtz

I'll add a p.s.   My son had a blackberry size mass removed off his kidney on Monday.  They are awaiting the results.  What is amazing to me (other than doctors have this skill) is that it was found because he had a kidney stone ... the Xray after that found the spot.   Had he not had the stone, then what?  As one of my children says:  "God moves in mysterious ways." 

Blackberry definition:  The fruit, not the telephone.

OK, a 2nd p.s.

My wife turned 85 on Monday.  Whoever would have thought that I would ever be married to an 85 year old lady.  I don't turn 85 till November.  Does this make her a cougar?

Goin' Band from Raiderland

 I didn't go.  Wish that I could have...

The Texas Tech Band is 100 years old this year.  Born in 1925, they celebrated tonight at the Tech ballgame.    1000 Band alumni went to the game and marched at halftime.  Of course they have had a bad storm roll through and have sat waiting for the storm to pass.

I have not heard how things went.  I do know that my TV people didn't carry this game.  So be it.   The football team will probably win - Arkansas pine bluff.   

I just heard.  The halftime was cancelled.  What a shame.  Maybe next year they will celebrate 101 years with no rain.  so be it.  I'm gonna blame Putin for this.

So much anticipation.   We did watch the rehearsal on the Goin' Band Association website.  It is probably still up for viewing.  1000 marchers.  That's a lot.

mike metze,  class of 1962

So, what's for supper and other inane questions

 Inane Inane Inane

I like that word.  It fits so much in my world. 

Another word that I took JOY in using during a band rehearsal was asinine.  It sounds so close to being dirty.  Shock and Awe.   You can use certain words to shock students into listening to you.  "What's he gonna say next?"  Flip-Flops.  I really do hate seeing flip flops. When I was much younger - the year had to be about 1965 or 66 - we made a driving trip to California to visit uncles and great aunts.  We took 2 cars.  My parents were in one; we were in the other; and, several family members rode along.  It was a nice LONG trip from Levelland.  First trip to Disneyland and Knotts berry farm.

In California that trip was the first time I saw flip-flops.  Out there, some were calling them Come Alongs.  Okay.  But they were also called thongs.  Look at their construction.  Thongs fits.  For years, I was naive and used the thong name.  Eventually, someone told me that THONG was a name for a certain type of underwear.  I didn't know.  How was I to know?  Still, in a fit of "gotchas" I would use the Thong name.  It suited me just fine.  

Family stone:  on that trip, our oldest daughter was just learning to walk and talk.  Still, her diaper was supreme.  You had to work around dirty diapers.  And, I believe we didn't have anything but cloth ones.  Maybe there were the others.  I don't remember since I rarely changed one.  One day, we had a particularly good lunch and then went out on the California town.  A few hours later, the diaper filled.  My mother, who had a way with the English language, chose to change the "dirty" diaper.  I hate dirty diapers  {Dirty is NOT the same as Wet}.  As she began the task, I heard her cry out,  "DANG CORN!!"  You can imagine the diaper contents.  Exactly at that moment, the baby cried out,  "DANG CORN!!"   Her first complete sentence at an appropriate time.  Occasionally today, you might here one of our family exclaim,  "Dang Corn!" at an appropriate time.   It says it all.

Speaking of language, mom was not shy about her language.  She and my father had several words in their vocabulary - or dictionary.  They were both born in 1910 and lived pretty much in the back woods of Oklahoma.  She = Kaw City (now a lake)  and  He = Temple, Okla.  One of my mom's favorites in the above mentioned dirty diaper area, was when a child had a loose movement, she would proclaim:   "Shizzalin Grits."  You can work on those 2 words if you wish.  It says it all again.  I was somewhere in my 20s before I figured out what she was saying.  Naive is my middle name.

But, this was not what I planned to write about.  We all get lost at times.

----First of all, we have 3 dogs in this house.  One is named Bella.  This morning, Bella shook the house as she began a barking fit that was soon joined by the others.   We are planning to give her the  --    Bella No Peace Prize.   We're hoping she qualifies.

-----Speaking of animals.... I read online that at a certain age (we're there already)  Women begin to collect dogs.  Some get several cats instead.  Cat Ladies, yet.  This is called:   "Many Paws" amongst polite company.

====I heard about a cat in Australia who roams the neighborhood and steals clothes off clotheslines.  He carries them home and embarrasses his parents.  Underwear, one sock, whatever.  You'd think people might be offended.  The owners post photos of the items for retrieval.  It is said that some neighbors are getting mad - why? - because the cat has not stolen anything from them.  Who'd a thought?

-----On Facebook this lady was so excited because she had had a fox come into her backyard.  Took a photo.  She said the fox was looking carefully at her and her little dog.   Yep, the picture was a Coyote.  The lady had been putting out food and water.  Readers jumped in to let her know that the Coyote was looking to eat the little dog {and maybe her}.  I suggested she put out a humane trap.  Then, she could dump it off on the neighboring County Courthouse lawn.  .  .  late at night.   I have a cousin who use to catch squirrels in his back yard.  He would turn them loose on the Courthouse lawn.  He says this is true.  Not in Texas -  Nebraska, I believe.

-----One final thing.  My wife has certain problems.  She is not really secure walking.  Her memory is  not working properly.  The other night, I got up to take care of certain business.  As I walked around the foot of the bed, there she was sitting on the floor.  I asked the obvious, "What are you doing down there?" She explained how she slid off the edge of the bed as she was getting up.  Out bed is really too tall.  I knew better.  I helped her up.  No harm done.  She said I was sleeping so good, she didn't want to wake me.  

The next day - Amazon - I ordered a Step 2 bed thingy.  It is a 3 ft long step with handles that fits securely beside the bed.  Adjustable height.  We found that 3" from the floor was the best.  The Step 2 comes with a motion activated LED light that lights up half the house. This is a good thing. Consider it if you have the same problem.  Hopefully, our problem is solved.  The light is pretty bright.

More later.  I have a list of many subjects including Destination Weddings, the Dull Men's Club website, certain Facebook complaints, DQ, TV, real time police shows on TV, eating lemons, bassoons, HEB store,  Lipton instant diet tea, what's for supper .... ah, the list never ends.

lov ya,  mtz