gonna kill me

 Let's see if I can tell this right.

My wife naps in the afternoon.  If the landline rings at this time, I grabbed it on the first ring; hit on; and I hit off immediately - especially if I don't recognize the caller.  

Today the phone rings.  It says Miami.  The only people I know in Miami are the President and all his friends.  Not wanting to talk to them:   ON --- OFF.  Normally, that settles everything.  Not this time.  Within 15-30 seconds it rings again:  Miami again.  I figure that I will say hello just in case it is Ed McMahon, and he misses me.

It's not.  Some guy with a really foreign accent starts talking.   " Is this Michael?"  The background noise is really loud.  I have trouble understanding as you will too when  you get hearing aids.   "You found me,." I uttered.  He starts rambling on - I can't understand him hardly.   I did pick up on that he was from the US Treasury -- I asked, "Are you from Miami?"  He reexplains that he was with the US Treasury -- something about a cashiers check -- and would I be home about 4:30 for it to be delivered.  

Frankly, I mocked him a bit.   He didn't waver.   4:30!  More babbling.  Finally,  Yes, I explained to him that  I would not be home - that I had already hung up on him once - that he was not from the treasury because they don't call - and now, I'm going to hang up on him a 2nd time.

And, I did.

Here's where it gets strange.  

He calls back.  I mutter, "hello," trying to keep the ringing from waking my wife.  He said something; I don't know what.  Didn't really care.  I told him I was hanging up on him for the 3rd time.   And he said,  "I'm going to find you and "f" kill you!"   

I hung up.

thinking about it, I thought maybe I should tell someone.  Called 911.  Nice lady.  I had to explain twice.  Eventually, she said that a deputy would give me a call.  He did.  We talked.  He drove out to the neighborhood and cruised around.  I stepped outside and talked to him in the street.  Nice young man.  He explained that I probably had nothing to worry about.  I agreed with him but felt that I should report the incident.  

We talked a while.  He cruised the neighborhood some more.  I went inside to find my weapon that I keep hidden...just in case the twirp was really that crazy.  You just never know anymore.  And, so, the episode ends.   I am considering installing a machine gun on my roof.  .   . maybe  few Patriot Missiles would be nice.

I was a bit surprised that this got my heart rate up.  

love ya, stay safe, the Treasury won't call you, try to be polite on the phone.

mtz